Milo

MAY 13

a man in life, during the few and meaningless days he passes through like a shadow?” (Ecc. 6:12)As we sense the despair that grips the Teacher’s heart in his role as secular man, we realize afresh how great God’s salvation is. Making the best of a meaningless life is secular man’s fate. Our challenge is to make a meaningful life better!

Overview

In his role as secular man the Teacher showed life’s meaninglessness by a further critique of religion (5:1–7), riches (vv. 8–20), and the brevity of life (6:1–12). His theme proven, the Teacher then suggested how to make the best of an essentially meaningless life (7:1–8:17).

Understanding the Text

“Let your words be few” Ecc. 5:1–7. In natural religion human beings seek to reach up to God from earth, and find Him distant and unreachable. This is the implication of the saying, “God is in heaven, you are on earth.” God may know man, but man does not know God. Thus the religious person should let his words be few, stand in awe, and if he makes a vow to God, should fulfill it quickly lest the unknown God be angry. In revealed religion, God is initiator. He reaches down from heaven to reveal Himself to man. This God is known on earth, and His will is known too. How terrible it is to be driven by reason to acknowledge God’s existence, but to know nothing about Him! How wonderful that in His Word and in Christ, our God has spoken to us of His love, compassion, and salvation. “As he comes, so he departs” Ecc. 5:8–20. Several reasons are offered to show why wealth is incapable of providing life with meaning. A person may work hard—but his profits are eaten up in taxes (vv. 8–9). Even a rich man isn’t satisfied with his wealth. He just wants more (v. 10). The more one earns the more he spends (v. 11). People with money lie awake worrying about keeping it (v. 12). Hoarded wealth is more likely to do harm than good—and when a man dies he can’t take it with him (vv. 13–17). In short, the only value of wealth is as a narcotic, to keep a man so occupied with earthly pleasures that he doesn’t realize how empty his life really is (vv. 18–20). When a Christian adopts materialistic values, he or she has chosen the empty, meaningless way of life of secular man. Christ died in part to free us from an unhealthy love of money. “Even if he lives a thousand years” Ecc. 6:1–12. One of the most grievous evils identified by the Teacher is that, however long a man lives, it is not long enough. Even a person with wealth, possessions, and honor soon dies, with his appetites still unsatisfied. In saying that “all man’s efforts are for his mouth,” the writer suggested that secular man is on a treadmill. He works to satisfy his physical needs and desires, yet however well-fed, he becomes hungry again, and however supplied with drink his thirst returns. In it all, his deepest need, the nameless desire for meaning, persists as an aching desire that no food or drink can quench. “Whatever exists has already been named.” Life on earth is an endless repetition, a treadmill on which each new generation walks or runs until their “few and meaningless days” are over. There is no meaning to be found in the life lived by secular man. “Is better than” Ecc. 7:1–8:17. With the close of chapter 6, the author had finished presenting proof that life under the sun, without a personal relationship with God, is meaningless. But he continued his quest. Given the meaninglessness of life, what should a person do? Solomon, unlike the authors of other ancient pessimistic wisdom literature, did not suggest suicide. Instead he suggested that a man examine his options, and choose the lesser of evils. We can trace the options he suggested in 7:1–12:8. In today’s reading, here is the advice of the Teacher concerning choices open to secular man. 7:1–12. Even if life is meaningless, some things in life are better than others. For instance, sorrow is better than laughter—if only because it is more realistic! For the same reason, it’s foolish to say that “the old days” were better than today! Although these conclusions may not be obvious, it is obvious that some things are better than others. For instance, the end of a matter is better than the beginning. Patience is better than pride. The wise are better off than fools. Given this, the Teacher offers his advice. 7:13–14. Adopt a fatalistic attitude. What God has determined cannot be changed, and no one can know ahead of time whether God’s future holds good times or bad for him. 7:15–22. Avoid extremes. Don’t set out to be too righteous or too wicked, and ignore what other people may say about you. 7:23–8:1. Wisdom is better than stupidity. But wisdom has its limits. It will not enable a person to discover “the scheme of things,” and it will not make a person righteous. In fact, wisdom forces one to the conclusion that while God may have made man upright, “men have gone in search of many schemes.” 8:2–10. Adjust to the rules of your society. It is far better to fit in than to be a rebel. This thought underlies the Teacher’s call to obey the king, and not rock the boat by challenging his authority. 8:11–14. Fear God as Judge. This is a difficult call, for one must take it on faith that in the end God will punish the wicked—despite the present prosperity of so many wicked men. In essence the Teacher suggested, don’t take chances where God is concerned. Wisdom tells us He is there, even if we do not know anything else about Him. 8:15. Enjoy while you can. Take what pleasure is possible from this life, even though it is meaningless. 8:16–17. Finally the writer made a significant confession. Even the conclusions he had drawn rested on insufficient evidence! No one can really “comprehend what goes on under the sun.” Human reason is incapable of drawing all the evidence together and reaching correct conclusions. Human reason cannot truly describe, or even comprehend, all of reality. We conclude with this thought. The conclusions of secular man about the meaninglessness of life are faulty, simply because secular man does not have all the evidence, nor is he able to fit it together accurately. The best that secular man can do is guess about the true nature of the universe in which he lives. And his best guesses lead, inevitably, to the conclusion that life for the individual is empty and meaningless. How wonderful that you and I do not have to guess! How wonderful that we know. We know the origin of our universe and its destiny. We know that we human beings have been created in the image of God, are loved by Him, and are destined to live forever! We know the saving power God has unleashed in this world through Jesus. And, because we know, we are freed from secular man’s bondage to despair.

DEVOTIONAL

“Better Than” Choices(Ecc. 7–8)

Any set of beliefs that a person adopts is to be used as criteria to evaluate choices. This may sound a little stuffy. But it expresses a vital truth. The Teacher of Ecclesiastes concluded that life was meaningless, and from that starting point went on to distinguish options in life which were better than others. We Christians start with a different set of conclusions. We believe that life is meaningful. God loves us, and has chosen us, in Jesus’ words, “to go and bear fruit” (John 15:16). Other New Testament passages put it a little differently, but the thought is the same. We have been chosen that we might “be for the praise of His glory” (Eph. 1:12). We are God’s workmanship, “created in Christ Jesus to do good works” (2:10). This is not a secular universe, formed by chance. It is a universe created by a personal God, who has chosen to love us—and chosen us to love and serve Him. What options then are “better” if our set of beliefs about the world is formed by a belief in God and by experience of His love? Well, some of life’s better things for the Christian include: Caring more about people than about things. Giving ourselves to serve rather than be served. Storing up treasure in heaven rather than on earth. Spending time with God’s Word rather than TV sitcoms. Making time for our families rather than spending all our time and energy on our jobs. Depending on God rather than on ourselves, and expressing that dependence in prayer. And so on. You can add to this list just as easily as I can. You see, our problem isn’t in knowing what “better than” choices are open to us as Christians. Our problem is in making those choices daily. No, this isn’t one of those “let’s add on some more guilt” devotionals. It’s just a reminder. The life of secular man really is meaningless. God’s call to you and me to make “better than” choices is His invitation to discover something that secular man can never know. A truly meaningful, and thus blessed, life.

Personal Application

The “better than” choices we make for Jesus’ sake end up as blessings for us.

Quotable

“Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.”—David Starr Jordan

Ecclesiastes

MAY 12

Reading 132

MEANINGLESS LIFE Ecclesiastes 1–4

“ ‘Meaningless! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless’ ” (Ecc. 1:2).Many thoughtful non-Christians will find that this book reflects an all-too-familiar sense of despair. Life in this world has not changed fundamentally from the author’s day. Apart from a personal relationship with God any life truly is meaningless.

Background

Ecclesiastes fits into a strain of ancient wisdom literature marked for its pessimism. Its sense of the futility of life is found in Egyptian works from about 2300–2100B.C, as well as in Mesopotamian writings ranging from that date to the 7th centuryB.C One work, the Dialogue of Pessimism, written about 1300B.C, concludes that for man trapped in a meaningless universe only one “good” exists: “To have my neck broken and your neck broken and to be thrown into the river is good.” The writer of Ecclesiastes set the limits of his search for meaning. He would use his reason (to “explore by wisdom,” 1:13) and he would use data he could gather by observation in this world (“under the sun”). While nature does provide evidence that God exists, He can be known as Redeemer only by special revelation. Thus the personal name of God, Yahweh, is not found in Ecclesiastes. Moreover, while the Teacher’s conclusions are accurately recorded, and do follow what man can observe in society and the material universe, his conclusions do not correspond with revealed truth (cf. 3:20–21; 9:5). What then is the value of the Book of Ecclesiastes? It serves an important pre-evangelism function, evoking images intended to make the reader sensitive to the futility of life apart from God. While the nonbeliever can enjoy the natural blessings which God graciously provides, he or she must always be troubled by an underlying sense of the ultimate meaninglessness of life.

Overview

The Teacher stated that life in this world is meaningless (1:1–11). To prove his point he examined wisdom (vv. 12–18), pleasures (2:1–16), hard work (vv. 17–26), religion (3:1–22), and life’s unfairness (4:1–16).

Understanding the Text

“Meaningless! Meaningless!” Ecc. 1:1–11 The Hebrew word translated “meaningless” in the NIV and “vanity” in the King James is hebel. It’s underlying meanings include futility, deceptiveness, unreliability, and brevity. Human life, if our 70 or so years on earth is all there is, is rendered empty. Short and insubstantial, life in this world can provide no permanent satisfaction. It’s hard for a young person, setting out with dreams of conquering the business or professional world, visions of pleasure, or even of marriage and family, to grasp how empty life will be even if he or she achieves those goals. This is perhaps one of the great values of this powerful Old Testament book: its dark outlook forces even the most optimistic individual to reexamine assumptions about the meaning of life. What a blessing that this book is found in a library of 66, with the others testifying to the fact that God did not create any individual life to flare up for a brief moment, and then to flicker out. Any time we are envious of this world’s wealthy or famous, we can read Ecclesiastes and remember that the true meaning of our life is tied, not to time, but to eternity. “The more knowledge, the more grief” Ecc. 1:12–18. In general, “wisdom” in Scripture is the ability to apply God’s guidelines for moral living to practical issues, and thus to choose what is right. In this book, which rules out revelation a priori, wisdom remains practical. But here it is the ability to understand the practical implications of secular study and observation. The tragedy is that the pursuit of secular knowledge is a “chasing after the wind.” Whatever we may achieve through science or philosophy offers no answer to the question of what makes individual life meaningful. In fact, the more one explores, the greater his or her sense of grief. There is a vast difference between secular and spiritual knowledge. While the one can make our life on earth more comfortable, the other alone can give our life meaning and purpose. It follows, as one of our pastors suggested at Sunday vespers, that we ought to concentrate on studying the Word of God. Only here will we find not only meaning but also lasting comfort and joy. “I refused my heart no pleasure” Ecc. 2:1–11. Philosophers have categorized pleasures. Some are “pleasures of the flesh.” The person who seeks pleasure in drugs, drink, or sex looks for it in bodily sensations. There are also “higher” pleasures. Among such pleasures tradition names the pleasure a person takes in his achievements, in accumulating wealth, or the pure intellectual pleasure of learning and displaying knowledge. As pagan philosophers have taught, the problem with pleasures of the flesh is that a price must be paid. The drunk suffers hangovers and cirrhosis of the liver. The drug addict loses his grip on reality. But the Teacher makes a distinctive contribution. All pleasures are meaningless. As far as adding meaning to life, each is “chasing after wind.” “I hated all the things I had toiled for” Ecc. 2:17–26. The drive to achieve great things is incapable of providing life with meaning. In the end all that a person poured his effort and skill into, all that has taken such a toll in personal pain and grief, will be left to another who has not worked for it. It’s a lucky man (the sense here of references to God) who is satisfied with his work and his pleasures. In the last analysis, the “great man” who was driven to achieve is the miserable one. “Yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end” Ecc. 3:1–22. While some have taken this chapter as an appeal to seek meaning through relationship with God, it seems best to understand it as a critique of natural religion. Nature does provide evidence that God exists. We see Him revealed in the regularity of His creation (vv. 1–8), and in man’s universal assumption that there is more to life than food and drink (vv. 9–17). Yet God remains a mystery (v. 11), and there is no evidence from nature to support the conviction that human beings are different from animals (vv. 18–21). As man’s religions can offer no certain knowledge about life after death, their practitioners must be satisfied with enjoying life in this world. What a difference between man’s religions and revealed religion. We alone can look beyond time, and know what eternity holds. “I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun” Ecc. 4:1–16. The existence of injustice contributes to the conclusion that, if this is all there is, life must be meaningless. Men so mistreat their fellows that death is preferable (vv. 1–3). The envy and competitiveness that motivate man’s achievements destroy inner tranquility (vv. 4–6), while necessity alone bonds men together (vv. 7–12). Even possession of authority over others is fleeting and meaningless. It’s been popular in the past three decades to assume that somehow meaning is found in interpersonal relationships. But the one relationship that counts is ignored by secular man. Only a relationship with God, resting on His love for and commitment to us, can truly meet our needs.

DEVOTIONAL

Gotta Try It to Know(Ecc. 2)

In his search for meaning the Teacher used two basic methods. Observe others. And, try it and see. When it came to pleasures—whether the pleasure of accomplishing some great building project, amassing great wealth, or a pleasure of the flesh—his approach was, “Try it and see.” We’re often tempted to take this approach to life. “How can I tell unless I try it for myself?” The answer, of course, is that we know about lots of things that aren’t beneficial without having to try them for ourselves. We wouldn’t try jumping off a 10-story building to see if it’s fun to fly. It might very well be. But the landing would be pretty hard. How fortunate we are to have in Scripture a reliable guide to what is truly good for us, and what will hurt. Rather than say with Qoheleth, “How can I tell unless I try,” we say, “I know this isn’t worth trying, for God’s Word warns me away.”

Personal Application

God is a better guide than experience.

Quotable

“Experience is the best of schoolmasters, only the school fees are heavy.”—Thomas Carlyle

Ecclesiastes

INTRODUCTION

This book reports the efforts of “the Teacher,” long believed to be Solomon, to find meaning in life apart from a personal relationship with God. His pessimistic conclusion: such a life is “meaningless,” and will lead to despair. Only those who “fear God and keep His commandments” can live in hope.

OUTLINE OF CONTENTS

I.	Prologue: Life Is Meaningless	Ecc. 1:1–11
II.	Proof: Meaninglessness Demonstrated	Ecc. 1:12–6:12
III.	Preferences: Making the Best of a Meaningless Life	Ecc. 7:1–12:8
IV.	Epilogue: Call to Fear God	Ecc. 12:9–14

MAY 11

Reading 131

THE NOBLE WIFE Proverbs 30–31

“Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate” (Prov. 31:31).The last of the three sections in these two chapters puts to rest the notion that women had no significant role in ancient Hebrew society—and challenges those who today view women as somehow inferior to men.

Overview

Three authors contribute to these two chapters. Agur, humble, but a sharp observer of nature and humankind (30:1–33). King Lemuel, pen name for a man who shares his mother’s thoughts on ruling (31:1–9). And the unnamed author of an acrostic poem in praise of a fine wife (vv. 10–31).

Understanding the Text

“I am the most ignorant of men” Prov. 30:1–4. Humility was a major trait of Agur. He had learned not to measure himself against other men, but against God. As a result he had no trace of false pride or arrogance. When we compare ourselves with the Lord, there’s no room left for pride. If we learn nothing else from the Book of Proverbs, this single lesson would be enough. “Two things I ask” Prov. 30:7–9. Humility had given Agur insight into himself. He realized how vulnerable mere human beings are. His second request, “Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread,” reflects this insight. Agur’s perspective was very different from that of the radio preacher who shouts, “God wants all His children to be rich!” What God in grace wants for most of us is to have enough—our daily bread. But not too much. Those with riches all too often feel no need of God. And those with nothing may steal for necessities. Agur, sensing his vulnerability, wanted to be put in neither position. You or I may wonder what we would do if we inherited a lot of money and were suddenly impossibly rich. Agur reminds us to thank God for what we have. Why should we want to risk the dangers wealth brings? “The way of a man with a maiden” Prov. 30:18–19. Agur made a variety of delightful observations, comparing human behavior with what he saw in nature. Here he expressed amazement at how eagles, serpents, and ships on the high seas found their way with no marked highway. Agur would never write an advice to the lovelorn column. He knew better! There are no highways for boy-girl relationships either. Yet somehow men and women find each other, marry, and produce the next generation. The way of a man with a maiden may be trackless, but despite the lack of beaten paths love too finds its way. “It cannot bear up” Prov. 30:21–23. Agur, a man who disliked pride, noted four types who tend to be unbearably arrogant. The servant who becomes king (who, in the ancient world, probably assassinated the old king). The fool (here, nabal, the proud and wicked rebel) who is “full of food” and openly scoffs at any need for God. The “unloved woman” (old maid) who at last finds a husband (surely not for her own qualities but most likely because of a large dowry). And the young servant girl who awakens the passion of her master, and replaces her mistress as his wife. In not one of these cases does the individual have reason for pride. In each case he or she has reason for shame! You and I may take satisfaction in a position we’ve achieved by hard work and excellence. But how wicked to be proud of a position won without merit. “It is . . . not for kings to drink wine” Prov. 31:1–9. These verses of advice by a king who wrote under the pen name of Lemuel reveal a very high view of royal responsibility. The king is servant to his people, called to protect the oppressed and judge fairly. Personal indulgence is “not for kings.” They must spend their strength and vigor serving their people, not on chasing women or getting drunk. These words of a mother remind us that we must view all authority in the context of servanthood. The man who is the “head of the house,” like the king of these passages, is not to use his authority to exploit or “master” his wife, but to serve her and their children. “A wife of noble character” Prov. 31:10–31. The Jewish rabbis suggested that these words were written by Solomon in honor of his mother, Bathsheba. This is unlikely. The woman here is an ordinary housewife. While it’s true that the family is well-to-do, much credit for their prosperity is given to her! The passage does not focus on the wife’s personal relationships, but rather on what might be called her business sense. She gets up early, assigns the day’s work to her servant girls (employees!), makes sure they have the resources needed to do their work, and supervises them during the day. While the primary focus of her activities was the family needs, this Old Testament wife is also an entrepreneur. She markets the garments her staff produces: she sells linen garments and “supplies the merchants with sashes.” The passage also makes it clear that the wife is free to make use of the profits from her enterprise. She “considers a field and buys it.” This is an investment. She’s decided to diversify, and add wine making to her businesses! The wife’s complete control of her earnings is illustrated by her generosity: “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” In modern terms, she’s set up a charitable foundation to distribute some of her profits to those less fortunate. And what do the men in this society think of the activist wife? Why, “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.” Rather than being a threat to his fragile male ego, the wife’s accomplishments are a source of pride and add to his prestige! What is so striking about the Proverbs 31 description is that it so powerfully contradicts the view of some Christians that a good wife must stay home, have babies, and keep busy with housework. Proverbs 31 shows us a woman of the Old Testament who is in fact a businesswoman, using her talents and abilities to the fullest, and performing the same kind of tasks that the men of that society performed. The “noble wife” of the Old Testament is not the silent, subservient woman so many Christians imagine, but rather an assertive, accomplished woman, whose success has clothed her “with strength and dignity” and who is relied on to speak “with wisdom,” for “faithful instruction is on her tongue.” In Old Testament times women used simple machines like the distaff and spindle to make threads from wool or flax, then wove the threads into cloth they used to make the family clothing (v. 19). But, as verses 10–31 show, the wife of Old Testament times was far more than a menial who performed only simple, limited tasks while her husband took care of the important family business.

DEVOTIONAL

Give Her the Reward She Has Earned(Prov. 31:10–31)

I suppose it’s all right to be upset with pastors now and then. At any rate, I thought it was all right for my wife to be upset with ours. Graham is a lovely, friendly, and thoughtful young man, and we appreciate him. But as he himself is quick to admit, he’s something of a chauvinist. Women belong at home. Or doing something female, like teaching grade school. The important decisions at home are to be made by the men. And all the decisions at church—frequently even all the talking about decisions—are for men only. So one evening when we were at Graham’s house for supper, my wife confronted him. Why aren’t women first-class citizens at our church? Why are they automatically excluded from so many positions and activities? Graham immediately jumped to the conclusion that Sue was lobbying for women preachers, and gave a somewhat stirring defense of the denomination’s position. And missed the point entirely. I suspect many in our churches miss the point entirely. The point is that women too are human beings. Women too have talents and abilities. Women too have spiritual gifts—gifts that go beyond teaching toddlers, changing diapers in the church nursery, and filling the Communion cups with grape juice. And of course, washing them afterward. Women, as members of the body of Christ, are essential to our spiritual growth and development. Yet in many churches women are given no significant role and permitted few significant ministries. And it’s a shame. Particularly when the view so many have of women is based on a faulty image of the “biblical” bride. The little woman who stays at home, looks after the kids, and lets the man deal with the important issues of life. Sometimes I wonder. Do you suppose it’s possible that Proverbs 31 was written for our instruction? And that the words, “Give her the reward she has earned,” is God’s exhortation to husbands and church leaders of today?

Personal Application

God-given gifts and talents are to be used—whatever the sex of the person who possesses them.

Quotable

“God entrusted women with some of His most important tasks. He sent women with the Resurrection news to the rest of the disciples. Jesus accepted women into full discipleship. He commended Mary of Bethany for her efforts to sit at His feet and learn, rather than do the accepted thing and retire to the kitchen. To those who say women cannot fill positions of leadership, the Bible says women did. As the great evangelist D.L. Moody replied when someone asked him what a woman can do to serve Christ, ‘What could they not do?’ ”—Patricia Gundry

MAY 10

Reading 130

SAYINGS OF SOLOMON Proverbs 25–29

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe” (Prov. 29:25).Though his observations are brief, this collection of Solomon’s sayings gives us deep insights into personal relationships.

Background

In-depth study.

So far we’ve noted two ways to study the Proverbs. One is to read through a chapter, and note specific verses that “jump out” at us. The other is to do a topical study, and compare all the proverbs on a particular subject. In this unit we’re looking at a third method for studying the Proverbs. I’ve called it “in-depth,” though perhaps it might better be called “meditative.” To use this approach we simply look at a proverb and think carefully about it. What does the proverb say? What does it imply? What is the background that gave rise to it? To what situations might it apply? In today’s commentary I use this method to explore several proverbs selected from these sayings of Solomon.

Overview

These five chapters of brief sayings attributed to Solomon were added to Proverbs in the time of Hezekiah.

Understanding the Text

“If you argue your case with a neighbor” Prov. 25:8–10. What are we to do when we hear a rumor about someone, or see some suspicious act? Jump to conclusions? Run quickly to tell everyone we know? This group of proverbs suggests that the worst thing to do is to spread a rumor, or even make an accusation based on something we’ve witnessed. After all, we don’t know the whole story. We don’t know the motive for the act we saw, or all the circumstances surrounding it. Solomon suggested that we withhold judgment, and not hurry off to “bring [our neighbor] hastily to court [i.e., accuse him].” We’ll look mighty foolish if he has a good explanation! Solomon suggested that we go to our neighbor and “argue our case” with him. This doesn’t mean repeating what others have said in confidence: “Well, George said that you. . . . ” To repeat what others say is betraying a confidence. Do this, and when others find out, you’ll have a reputation that you’ll never be able to live down! On the one hand, Solomon’s words are simply good advice. They make a lot of sense. On the other hand, they are rooted in a unique view of the godly society. In a godly society if you witness or hear something about another person, you can’t just shrug your shoulders and say, “That’s his business.” You are accountable for the welfare of the other person, and for the purity of your community. To fulfill your responsibility you first go to the person involved. You share what you’ve seen or heard, and give him a chance to explain. In doing this you both show your concern for truth, and for the other person himself. If he can explain, well and good. If confronting helps him to set things right, again well and good. If he will not respond, that’s time enough to involve others and possibly the courts. Solomon’s point is that while you must do something, what you do had better be the right thing! And the right thing is not to gossip about what you’ve seen, or spread a rumor you’ve heard. The right thing is to go directly to the other person, to find out the truth, and to help. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” Prov. 27:5–6. What is friendship really all about? Today we can take courses on how to win friends and influence people. While those who teach tell us not to use the techniques they show us to manipulate others, all too often the goal we have in making friends is just this. We want to ingratiate ourselves; to use the relationship for some personal gain. Solomon, in exploring friendship, makes a different proposal. To win friends be a friend. Truly care about the other person. Rather than use him or her, serve. This view of friendship is behind each of Solomon’s sayings. Why is open rebuke better than hidden love? Because such love is morally useless. It fails to tell its object his or her faults, and thus leaves him or her without information that might lead to reform. When we hesitate to rebuke a person our motive is not really love. It is fear that we might be rejected or attacked. We’re not really concerned about the other person: we’re concerned about ourselves! Turning the saying around, Solomon invites us to evaluate our attitude to those who profess to be our friends. Do we prefer the flatterer? The person who has nothing but praise for us—while we’re with him—may very well be an enemy. You can tell a true friend by his willingness to wound you when a wound is for your own good. No, not everyone who hurts you is a friend. But we should be able to tell the difference between an insensitive clod who tells us something that is hurtful, and says, “Now this is for your own good,” and the person who really cares and shows caring by telling us the truth in love. Solomon’s insights are just as valid today as they were 3,000 years ago. Friendship calls for honesty exercised in the best interests of another, and for appreciating such honesty from others, even when it hurts.

DEVOTIONAL

Let It Out!(Prov. 29:11)

I’m often amazed at the new treatments psychologists come up with. A few years ago one popular fad was, let it out! If you feel angry, let it out. Take this foam-rubber bat and hit something as hard as you can. If you feel hostile, say all those nasty things you’re thinking. If you ventilate your feelings, the theory goes, you’ll get rid of them. If you hold them in, they’ll grow stronger. Nice theory. Of course, it doesn’t really work. Solomon knew that 3,000 years ago, and said so when he wrote, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” (v. 11). When we practice letting any sinful or negative feeling out, what happens is that we become less able to control it next time. Rather than “ventilating” the emotion and getting rid of it, we find it returns more often. And, like a muscle that we exercise over and over again, those feelings we “let out” become stronger too. The reason is deeply rooted in the very nature of human beings. You and I are moral creatures. That means we are to stand in judgment of our own emotions. We are to choose against our emotions if those emotions are wrong. We are to be controlled, not by what we feel, but by what we know to be right. When a person chooses to “let out” his anger or hostility, he is not getting rid of it. He is permitting it to master him. How wonderful that in Christ you and I have a better way to deal with our anger. We can choose to do what is right—and confess our sinful feelings to God and ask Him to change them, and us. When we do, God works His gradual transformation within us, until we become loving rather than angry women and men.

Personal Application

Do what you know is right, not what you feel.

Quotable

“There are many queer ideas about cross bearing. I recall a man once saying to me, ‘I have a fierce temper, but I suppose that is my cross.’ “ ‘My friend,’ I said to him (lovingly, I hope!), ‘That is not your cross. It is your wife’s cross, but it is your sin!’ ”—Alan Redpath